Jones throws pebbles at the flamingos, until a zookeeper comes by and tells him to stop. He refuses. And then gets thrown in with the lions.

The fratboys bought a pet beaver. They got written up and achieved some fame. Until the rodent bit the sorority sister. And gave her rabies.

With a dramatic sweep of her arm, the nuts scatter across the floor. Then she stomps all over them. That’s a painfully vivid image, he says.

He had attained such an advanced state of evolution he no longer watched the shows on television, just the ads. Especially the Japanese ones