He believed in destiny. He grew up certain of this. But when the woman of his dreams walked by, he was too busy composing the perfect tweet.

Her teeth went in various directions. I knew this because she ate with her mouth open. You’re charming, she gushed. But your avatar, I cried.

He drinks alone at the end of a hotel bar. He orders another drink, and he says, I’m a consultant, and the bartender says, This one’s on me.

They reached the top of the mountain and the fjord lay before them and she took his hand and he said, It looked a lot bigger on the Internet.

The house could be a home. Their home. But for one thing. This place smells like pain, she said sadly. He, however, had no problem with that.

It was a large elevator, but she still saw me look her over as she walked in. She came and stood beside me. And she said, You can’t have it.