This British Comedian Must Not Know I’m Canadian

By Arjun Basu | Published: March 30, 2012

It goes without saying. Otherwise, he wouldn’t put me on this veddy veddy English list. I’m sure I’m the only one here without a funny accent. There there chaps, but I’m from the colonies, innit? (I’m also Canadian enough to admit I don’t know who Dave Gorman is and I apologize for that. I really […]

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Premature Sense of Redemption

By Arjun Basu | Published: March 26, 2012

My agent passed along a rejection note this morning, his only comment being “argh.” I read the email. By page 50 the editor admitted the novel was getting hard to read. That’s fine. You don’t have to like it. So why was it getting hard to read? Because it was getting “darker” and because he […]

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Kissing Sisters

By Arjun Basu | Published: March 21, 2012

I would rather not win than be a finalist and not win. Those shots of actors as they lose their Oscars are priceless because sometimes they don’t act. You can see the disappointment on their faces. Only the winners act like themselves. When you win something, it’s like having an orgasm – you are yourself […]

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This is What Busy Looks Like

By Arjun Basu | Published: March 14, 2012

Nothing. It looks like nothing because you don’t get anything done. It’s an empty box, sunshine without light, warmth without heat. Plans get demolished, not by anything sinister, but by life, by the forward progress of time, by the inevitable bullshit of living, the accretion of layers of stuff, things we have to climb over […]

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T 5427

By Arjun Basu | Published: March 5, 2012

They finished eating. She took his hand. What is love? she asked. And then he farted and wasn’t ashamed and said, I’m pretty sure that’s it.

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T 5426

By Arjun Basu | Published: March 5, 2012

She made tacos and I complained. She called me ungrateful and I told her the tacos were yummy but that was a lie and a door had been opened.

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T 5425

By Arjun Basu | Published: March 5, 2012

They hear an ice cream truck. I can kiss in Esperanto, she tells him. The birds sing their happy songs. He figures he can learn her language.

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T 5424

By Arjun Basu | Published: March 5, 2012

I was walking with my girl and saw Ron Howard and I said, Hey Matlock! and she said, You always know what to say, so I bought her some fries.

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T 5423

By Arjun Basu | Published: March 5, 2012

The photos are scattered about, and when he wakes he studies them with the studiousness of a scholar. I was such a dude last night, he says.

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T 5422

By Arjun Basu | Published: March 5, 2012

The flowers were dead now, forlorn in the gaudy vase. She studied them sadly. We haven’t had sex in that long, she told him. And he grunted.

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