I might as well continue this, right? After all, my only new year’s resolution is to buy sweatpants. I own sweatpants already, but I need a new pair. And, apparently, the athleisure thing has peaked, so maybe there are good deals on sweatpants now. Or even on companies that produce sweatpants. 1. Should we rename […]
Tagged: Food (993)
Absolutely Useless Thoughts, Jr: 2017
Posted in Blog
Also tagged Amazon Prime, Canada, Carl's Jr, cars, Chinese food, Donald Duck, fish, KFC, maple syrup, Netflix, New Hampshire, OPEC, resolutions, robots, Sahara, sapiens, self-driving, snow, sweatpants, TV, volcano
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The house smells of baking, the scent of promise, a delivery into better lands. What’s the occasion? he asks. But she dare not tell him yet.
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It was when their love felt institutional that he interrupted dinner and announced his intentions, and she said, Because I served leftovers?
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Then the wind picked up and it started to rain. We scrambled to get the picnic covered and she lamented the waste. I let the quiche get wet.
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I got stomach flu from dim sum and I called up the restaurant and got into an argument about gunpowder because the Chinese guy held a grudge.
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We did not hold back in any way at the all-you-can-eat buffet and then for dessert she chose some fruit, and we broke up in the parking lot.
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I told her I didn’t mean to call her fat, but my excuses buried me deeper in the mire, so I took her out for dinner. Which was not too smart.
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We finished up with the all-you-can-eat buffet and I said, I don’t think I’m ever going to eat again and that’s when she decided to leave me.
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We expressed our excitement in whispers. She pinched me because hours earlier I had asked her to. We ordered the hallowed food. It was bland.
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He was falling in love with the sad girl. He said, I want to taste your sadness. She went away and came back with a plate of scrambled eggs.
