He lost all of his money in a disasterous ice cream shop investment. And then his wife left him. And then he decided to become a bad painter

The library was anything but quiet. Not because of an excitement of books and reading but because the librarian was removing all her clothes

The old Polish woman waddles over to me and says, I was pretty once, in her thick accent, and I stare into her eyes and I say, I believe it.

The vase was the kind of meaningless gift that took on great meaning. Its presence was like a beating heart. Which was why he killed with it

It rained, and the wedding was ruined. So, it turned out, was the marriage. But not before some obvious discomfort. And a lot of dishonesty.

There were smartly dressed people in the room all saying dumb things. The drinks didn’t make them more intelligent. But it made them sexier.