My dog’s a babe magnet and it’s working right now except the thing’s sniffing a turd and I’m like: Don’t eat that shit! and then he eats it.
Tagged: Pets (140)
T 6335
We had to give the dog away. We weren’t happy but that cur was evil. My wife said, Screw the bitch. That’s when I said an unfortunate thing.
In Between Days
I have started writing my next novel. I’m not making an announcement, just saying it, in a non grand way (well, why say it at all? you may ask and you would be right to ask it). But after a good six months – it’s more than that, but I’ve been rather single minded the […]
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Also tagged agent, character development, novel, preparation, procrastination, puppies, Thai beef salad, torture, writing
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T 6155
We ate schnitzel and watched our new dog relieve itself inappropriately and I said, We’re just missing the sauerkraut, and no one understood.
T 6114
The dog wouldn’t stop whining and she said, What’s wrong with him? and I didn’t want to tell her but I knew I had to. She never got over it.
T 6104
I sneezed and then sneezed again and then she rubbed my spit off her shoulder and I said, I’m allergic to your cats, and she said, Oh please.
T 6062
The dog chewed my shoe. I went to the cobbler, and said, The dog chewed my shoe. The cobbler said, I’m a cobbler. Then we hugged each other.
T 5689
She comments on my hat and I say, It’s a chapeau. She slaps me. The bartender mixes my gin gimlet. I also detest cats, I say. And she purrs.
T 5812
I slipped your dumplings to the dog, he admits. Finally. Her lips quiver. You don’t love my dumplings? she asks. He wants to feel like a man.
T 5715
I said mittens! I screamed, but it was no use, she was livid, and we were through. I knew she was a cat person. But I really do hate mittens.
