Tagged: Guys (1,814)

They are young so they feel invincible and immortal. They also jump off buildings. And eat their way to a lifetime of premature ejaculation.

He orders a beer and says, I only go for the bowlegged girls. Outside, the thunder crashes. We live in a house of cards, the bartender says.

He agonizes over the placement of the speakers. She watches him with bemusement, sipping coffee. I didn’t realize you were so old, she says.

With knee pain now added to ankle problems and thinning hair, he buys a European sportscar. It gets lousy mileage. And his knees still hurt.

The family was held together by secrets, by a love that was as empty as a milk carton on a Saturday morning, by the heredity of tiny penises

The TV show was engrossing, and he missed the yelling about a fire. His family long ago had stopped waiting for him. But it was a good show.

He was numb, at least from the chest down, and he was worried about how he’d look later. Such are the travails of an overweight fashionista.