Tagged: Guys (1,814)

There had been complaints that he flirted too much. That he targeted women he knew to be unhappy. I just dress well, he said in his defense.

He was so drunk his eyes looked blank like some Japanese video game character and he ran into a wall and broke his nose and learned nothing.

He wants to be rich so he can hire a personal flosser. He’s tired of his dentist telling him to floss. He doesn’t handle confrontation well.

The mountain lay before him like a fortress. The village was depending on him to rescue them. But he had beer. And a big case of the lazies.

She looked at the bed with some fear. Things will change, she sighed. But he didn’t think so. Because he still didn’t care what she thought.

The boys didn’t consider singing manly enough. So they held a contest to see who could burp the loudest. But then all the girls walked away.

He walks up to the women. He’s sure he’s thought this through. You have great fingers, he tells one of them. They laugh a lot. He goes home.

Then he said, I know much more about food than you do, and she laughed and said, It’s not a sport, and he didn’t understand a word she said.