Tagged: Food (993)

Twister 1169

And when they all complained about the food the chef came out and announced that his wife had left him and that he’d crapped in the lettuce.

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Twister 1237

Jim ordered the chef’s special. The waiter served it. Jim asked what it was. The waiter looked at it and said, Why it’s a crock of shit, sir

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Twister 1316

After the kid found the Twinkies and ate everything and then said, There are people living inside me, Al knew the day’s good times were over

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Twister 1395

He says, I enjoy that. And she says, It’s not good enough. And he thinks about this and says, We’re not talking about your schnitzel, right?

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Twister 1478

He fluffs the blanket and sets out the grub. The sun shines down on the corndogs and Doritos and beer. This so isn’t going to work, she says

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Twister 1570

They thought he died but he only fell asleep in his soup during lunch. He’d complained about being tired lately. Having a mistress was hard.

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Twister 1643

He is a dignified man except when he eats pasta. And lobster. When he eats a lobster it’s incredibly disgusting. So no one gets invited over

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Twister 1751

He walked to the lunch spot and met his boss and they plotted something heartless. And his boss choked on a chicken bone. He left a big tip.

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Twister 1866

She’s poaching an egg and brewing the coffee and he comes up behind her and lifts up her shirt. And he badly burns himself in a tender place

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Twister 1949

Once upon a time, an adult male poured ketchup all over his slice of pepperoni pizza and the Earth was swallowed up by a black hole, the end

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