Tagged: Food (993)

When he discovered the secrets of love, he proposed but she said no. And he ran to the cupboard, only to find she’d eaten all the chocolate.

They cleaned up the post-picnic mess. A huge argument broke out over the classification of tomatoes. She wanted a new group of friends. Bad.

She didn’t know why she was so apathetic but the pizza guy had a theory. I’m your worst nightmare, he said. No that’s ice cream, she replied

He dreamed that he was buried in pasta with a rosé sauce, and he woke up and saw her with her head in the fridge. Please come back, he said.

She heard strange noises in the night and found him downstairs slathering sourdough with mayonnaise and he saw her and said, It’s a metaphor

And she weeped. And he asked her why she was crying. And she didn’t say anything. And then he opened a bag of chips. And she cried some more

She figured he was empty but then he said, I like the umami in the anchovy, and she thought about reconsidering but, man, his breath stank.