He was the kind of guy who always woke up before the alarm went off. But he was never happier than when his wife announced that she was late
Tagged: Family (813)
Twister 2167
He is an old-fashioned man. He calls his wife “mother.” She, on the other hand, is modern. And calls her husband something terrifically rude
Twister 2265
He bought her a cheap vase. She called her mother and they agreed he was worthless. The day after that, his invention made him a billionaire
Twister 2368
There’s a bit too much Dijon on his tongue right now and he’s making faces that aren’t impressing his mother. You’ll never change, she sighs
Twister 2502
The kids orbited their mother like Mercury around the sun. She called her husband. I’m going to blow, she said. And he squirmed in his seat.
Twister 2582
Jim thought he’d been discreet. But his in-laws had seen. And they brought up his ass scratching whenever they looked at the wedding photos.
Twister 2756
He was feeling down and he said to his wife, We’re just ants when you think about it, and his kid had heard him and he said, Dad then don’t.
Twister 2919
He lay in bed surrounded by his grown children. They were bickering already. I never had sex with your mother, he said. He would die happy.
Twister 3085
He didn’t admit to knowing anything because he wanted to be cool. His sister said wanting to be cool wasn’t too cool. He told her to shut up
Twister 3284
When he was young his mother told him he’d been conceived in a fast car, and he didn’t appreciate her use of the adjective until much later.
