Tagged: Guys (1,814)

He says, Pull my finger, and then he laughs and she rolls her eyes. But she does as she’s told. And he farts. That’s what love is, he thinks

He thought about his date while taking a shower until he ran out of hot water. Then he got out of the shower. And felt an awful lot of shame

He was on a plane where the flight attendants told bad jokes and while he would regret his actions later, he exited the aircraft triumphant.

He killed the tiny man and then called the cops. I killed a tiny man, he told them. Then he called his wife. I killed the huge guy, he said.

He says, I’m going to vacuum now, and she says, OK, from whatever room she’s in and he reads that “OK” to mean she’s changing into lingerie.