Tagged: Guys (1,814)

His socks are too tight. He’s figured it out. This is what’s causing the sweating. The palpitations. And it’s why he won’t get married today

The flight was delayed again. He sat at the bar listening to stories from around the world. Mute with the reality he had no stories to tell.

She walked by him and he was mesmerized by the way her red hair sparkled in the sun. He followed, falling in love. Then he was hit by a car.

She called him up and said, I went to the market and bought organic grapes and apples! And he thought about this news and said, I don’t care

He said, I’ve never seen a squirrel that big. He said, Maybe once but that was a long time ago. He said, I don’t do drugs but now I’m scared

Instead of rocks, he throws stones. There’s a big difference, he tells the cops. One is hurtful and angry. The other is more philosophical.