Tagged: Guys (1,814)

The girl next to me on the bus farted in her sleep. She doesn’t know I love her. If I hadn’t lost it to cancer I’d give her my left testicle

The date was going well until he said “heat seeking moisture missile” and then it deteriorated to the point where he woke up in the hospital

He sees her from behind, and though he doesn’t feel love, he feels its pull. Then she turns around. You must look like your father, he says.

His car broke down in the French countryside. He walked to a farmhouse where an old lady offered him wine. I don’t like chardonnay, he said.

He was very drunk and he laughed every time the bartender said cocktail, and the bartender asked him how old he was and he said, Old enough.

The fever came upon him, and she tried to offer comfort but he refused her help. Then he started screaming. I feed off stress, he explained.