Tagged: Guys (1,814)

He hops up to her. Let’s make out, he says. She slaps him. How old are you? she asks. Old enough, he says touching his cheek. Then he cries.

I bought a used banjo. It was beat up and ugly. Since when do you play the banjo? my wife asked. And I said, I don’t know who I am anymore.

I asked her out. You have small feet, she replies. And I look at my feet. My mother always tells me I can do better, she says. With a knife.

He stood up and felt his body creak. Feeling old? she asked. Just the fax ma’am, he said. She stared at him blankly. His body creaked louder.

The game was close. Beer me! I yelled. Why do you take my love for granted? she asked. I should have turned the TV off then. I know that now.

He grows cold and begins shivering. He grows nostalgic, remembering obscure things. He looks at her hands. This won’t hurt, she reminds him.

He writes a song of yearning. She suggests he check his manhood. It’s still there, he informs her. She demands proof. Then he feels a chill.

She nuzzles my neck then nibbles on my ear and she whispers, I’m going to buy you a trimmer, and she kisses me again but the thrill is gone.

I stared at her blankly. There are things I forget more often, I said. I could tell she wanted to hit me. But she knew I’d never forget that.