He got behind the velvet rope. It was a total miracle. He met a supermodel and made his move. I wrote a book, she said. And he slinked away.
Tagged: Guys (1,814)
T 6375
I stabbed him. His blood stained the rug. Why? he whimpered. It was a good question for which I had no answer. I don’t like rugs, I replied.
T 6372
She caught me staring at her chest and she slapped me and then I said, I wasn’t looking at them sexually, and she hasn’t talked to me since.
T 6371
We went out for Chinese. She ate a chili and grabbed my beer, and sucked it back in one gulp. That was so hot, she said. And I had to agree.
T 6367
I stared at his burger and I said, How much bigger can it be? He said, I don’t swing that way. I called him an asshole. But I wanted a bite.
T 6364
Where do you want to be in five years? she asks and he leaves the interview and calls her three days later and he says, I’m in the Barbados!
T 6361
I blamed it on the drink, it’s all I had, but she dismissed this, and I complimented her, and she said, You’re drunk again, and it was true.
T 6357
She was young and he’d wondered if perhaps she was a bit too young. But then she said, Gosh you’re tiny! and her wisdom was revealed to him.
T 6355
As darkness falls, he feels the urge to unspool the truth, so she can see him whole, and he says, I just joined the Cheese-of-the-Month Club.
T 6351
I called her again, and she said no to me again, and then I called my father and asked, When are things hopeless? and he said, At the start.
