She was on a business trip. I called her and complained of loneliness. She blew me a kiss and said, We have Skype. And then I felt lonelier.
Tagged: Guys (1,814)
T 6404
I helped her up from the sofa but she reclaimed her hand quickly. With prejudice. I was confused. Hurt even. Your hands are so dry, she said.
T 6399
I saw her checking me out and I walked away, but she found me later, trying to hide in the dairy aisle. I’m not shy I’m just fat, I told her.
T 6396
I asked her to dance. She thanked me and said she was flattered, but she declined. I had to ask her why. She said, This is a grocery store.
T 6389
I saw the whole thing, I told the policewoman. And then I started laughing. And I couldn’t stop. Can you believe how sensitive I am? I asked.
T 6388
I drank the wine. A lady told me, You’re suppose to spit it out, and she pointed to a bucket. That night I told my kid grown ups were stupid.
T 6386
The car swims through oncoming traffic, like salmon on the spawn. The driver sneezes, and cars explode, one by one, and he tastes his guilt.
T 6383
He told his parents about his new love. She makes me bigger, he said. This made his mother happy. His father too. But for different reasons.
T 6380
We boarded the plane and I sat next to a heavy woman with bad breath. Her clothes didn’t work. She was grumpy. I’m no catch either, I sighed.
T 6378
He closed the door and urgently rummaged through her files. The door opened. She stood there, shocked. Have you seen my underwear? he asked.
