Tagged: Guys (1,814)

And then she said something about falling in love and he suffered a heart attack and when he awoke in hospital she said it again and he died

The girl next to me on the bus farted in her sleep. She doesn’t know I love her. If I hadn’t lost it to cancer I’d give her my left testicle

The date was going well until he said “heat seeking moisture missile” and then it deteriorated to the point where he woke up in the hospital

He sees her from behind, and though he doesn’t feel love, he feels its pull. Then she turns around. You must look like your father, he says.