Tagged: Guys (1,814)

He sat in the middle of the hall and admired the ladies in their low cut jeans. And then he dropped quarters hoping they would pick them up.

She kisses him and he says, Woah, get out of my space, and she packs up and leaves him and he says, But now, I totally want you in my space.

And when he spilled wine on her blouse and she took it off and said “Clean it” he felt a frisson, which was just another word for “hard on.”

The sleep had been restless, full of bad dreams and strangulation by blanket. He got up to shave. And returned to bed with bloody underwear.

He downs a shot and walks over to the sexy blond and says, I can fulfill you. She laughs and kicks him in the groin. Just like that, he says

They woke up hungover and bruised and in need of fried sustenance. That was a night I’ll never forget, Raj said. I already have, Jim replied

I called my wife “retarded” and her sister’s not well, you see, so now I’m sleeping in this park and the squirrels are looking mighty tasty.

He came home and found her waiting and he said, I can explain, and she felt his pants and said, They feel hot, and he knew that wasn’t good.

He had to pee. God, he had to pee bad. But he was too unsure of her feelings to get up. He just couldn’t leave. Man, he hated Existentialism