Tagged: Guys (1,814)

The water was warm and he dove in and lost his trunks. He was confident enough to exit the surf. I thought you said it was warm, a girl said

There is nothing in the room. It’s been cleaned and painted. The carpet’s been torn out. And now he understands how badly she wants him gone

He knew he was in love and to prove it he said, Let’s play in the bathtub. And she smiled and undressed. And he brought his inflatable shark

He sees a long and lovely future with her. But he calls it off, suddenly. I can’t do this, he says. Because of your grotesquely hairy hands.

By the time the scotch arrived, the evening’s failure was apparent. This is pointless, he told the bartender, watching the last woman leave.

She wondered about him and his fear of public hand holding. You will never love, she told him one day. My mother once said that, he replied.

And the big men were laughing and drinking and then one of them said, Ever notice how some boobs look like turtles? and the laughter stopped