Then I got up and farted. The guests laughed. My wife said, You’re impossible! I knew she meant it. The others thought she was being loving.
Tagged: Family (813)
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The kid got sassy. His mother said, Who do you think you are? He hasn’t spoken since, not even to the doctor. Who has fallen silent as well.
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I ordered a burger. My father called. He was leaving his wife. How many is that? I asked. I need some cash, he said. And I ordered a Whisky.
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Her stomach is littered with bite marks. She says, Why would you do that? I remember this thing my mother once did. All I can do is I shrug.
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You can’t suck this in a manly way, he says as he unwraps a Popsicle. He’s talking to everyone and no one. To himself. And, always, his mom.
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One night we came upon a man with a megaphone. We come from fish, he proclaimed. He smells like fish, my wife joked. That’s me, I whispered.
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And just as they were about to kiss, he hunched over, and her shoes were covered in her mother’s special goulash. Well played mom! she cried.
T 6452
Her son came home early. He was drunk and reeked of pot. She was watching porn on her laptop. Her jeans were undone. Dad’s outside, he said.
T 6438
He calls his mom. He says, We’re engaged. She squeals. He says, It just means we’re talking. And then she remembers her son is in marketing.
T 6435
That’s everything, he says, pointing up at the sky. But his son doesn’t buy it. And kicks his father in the shins. And what’s that? he asks.
