They had sex on the dining table after the last of the kids moved out. It was something they’d always wanted to do. Then they had some pasta.
Tagged: Family (813)
T 5143
She’s disappointed by the decisions that her husband’s taken but knows she will recover, unlike the white rug, after what the dog did to it.
T 5129
The boy looks up his mom’s dress and says, I came from there? and she says, Not the way your dad tells it, and that night’s dinner is lively.
T 5127
The father yells, You can’t eat bagels in this car! and goes on to recount the trajectory of his life. His daughter says, This isn’t leather.
T 5102
The drink inspires misery and he misses his kids and wants to call them but he’s not drunk enough to make that mistake so he keeps drinking.
T 5083
A car fell out of the sky. We live in a video game world, he said. An ostrich ran past. Flowers started singing. And he took his son’s hand.
T 5078
My kid was writing a story for school, and asked how it should end. I said, With flatulence, and that’s how I found out his teacher was hot.
T 5071
The kids start their screaming and he’s barely into his coffee and he says, No no no no. And he says, Please. And so the kids scream louder.
T 5061
As a child, he liked to eat disgusting things. It made him popular. Now, he sits in a nice restaurant with his nice wife. Driving her crazy.
T 5053
And then the wedding. And he watched her walk down the aisle. And he said to her, I’m not nervous. And she hoped that would be his final lie.
