His mom calls from the bingo parlor and she says, I just got bingo! and she can barely breathe and he says, Mom, and then the line goes dead.
Tagged: Family (813)
T 5206
His life coach says, Find strength in your limitations, and this stays with him, and next morning he tells his wife, I feel so strong today.
T 5198
Call your grandmother! he yells at his son. I have no idea why he resents you, he tells his mother. We’re out of juice, he says to his wife.
T 5196
It wasn’t a wake. And his drunkenness was not appreciated. Except by the cousins. But they were first cousins. And he still had some morals.
T 5194
The doctors huddled, a conclave to discuss a recent bowel movement, and he felt great shame, mostly because his kids were still in the room.
T 5190
He woke and she was hovering above him, holding his new pants, and she said, Where were you? and he said, I went shopping, and she said, Oh.
T 5189
Dinner was served but my brother and his girlfriend were making everyone sick. So I stabbed them in the genitals. And dug into the pad thai.
T 5169
And then he laughed at one of his father’s jokes. The room went quiet with the momentousness of the event. I can die now, his father sighed.
T 5159
My daughter overflowed the toilet and discovered the awful truth about her recently deceased goldfish. And I told her ALL of life was a lie.
T 5149
He found a pipe in the basement. It had belonged to his father. It smelled old and musty. It was a smell he could remember. He threw it out.
