There was dust on the table and he knew his mother-in-law was going to blame him, again. When the doorbell rang, he kicked over the garbage.
Tagged: Family (813)
T 5043
She was tall. And then she wore heels. Why? he wondered. She noticed him lost in thought. I’m trying to blame my mom for this, he explained.
T 5039
He says, I was so stoned I was, like, in a coma, and then he notices his parents and then a study in the very definition of awkward silence.
T 5034
That’s not a wet spot, that’s a wetlands, he says laughing, and she says, We’ve been together ever since. And the kids lose their appetites.
T 5031
He was late again and his wife said, Why? and he said, I was writing my blog, and she punched him so hard that he never wrote his blog again.
T 5025
The kids are in bed. He burps and says, I feel fat. She puts the last cup in the dishwasher. That’s because you are, dear, she says, warmly.
T 4994
Divorce proceedings were started, all because he’d said, My fingers smell like cheese, in front of her parents. But that camembert was ripe.
T 4980
He picked through his dad’s old clothes, awestruck. You’ve totally changed my life, he told him. And his dad looked at him and said, I’m gay.
T 4862
The kids walked in on them, it was bound to happen, except now she just can’t, no way, They came out of me, she says, and he says, At least.
T 4858
At dinner dad orders the veal and little Ann Marie starts crying and mom says, Now dear, but the child hates her dad at least until tomorrow
