Twisters

T 5989

In the fruit aisle, my child yelled, Do you eat dingleberries from mom’s butt? and so we had take-out that night and every night after that.

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T 5988

I was watching the news and my wife sat down beside me and watched the news too, and when it was over we had rigorous sex because we had to.

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T 5987

We met at the taco truck. She told me her name. I told her I loved her and we laughed ironically. Because it wasn’t the place to be sincere.

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T 5986

She started humming. I said, Love is in the air. And on the sheets and on the floor and on the dresser, she said. And I started humming too.

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T 5985

At the party, every t-shirt is adorned by acronyms he doesn’t fully understand, and the assault of random letters is too much for him, OMFG.

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T 5984

He was going to punch me. But then he started talking about “the banality of evil” and I thought I was free. Then he punched me. And yawned.

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T 5983

I took their abuse. I imagined a serene place, and I went there. But once they insulted my suit, I was no longer responsible for my actions.

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T 5982

His friends had abandoned him. He was drunk enough to consider the paradox of gravity. He needed some love. But he wanted another drink more.

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T 5981

He bent over in pain, clutching his stomach. She said, Don’t blame my mother. Then he threw up on her shoes. Then she blamed her mother too.

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T 5980

I own a lot of stuff. It fills my home and provides me with great self-worth. I love my stuff. But my girlfriend says all that stuff owns me.

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