Twisters

T 6378

He closed the door and urgently rummaged through her files. The door opened. She stood there, shocked. Have you seen my underwear? he asked.

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T 6377

The house smells of wet dogs and dirty children, and he doesn’t know what she sees in him. She breathes in the air and says, I love history.

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T 6376

He got behind the velvet rope. It was a total miracle. He met a supermodel and made his move. I wrote a book, she said. And he slinked away.

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T 6375

I stabbed him. His blood stained the rug. Why? he whimpered. It was a good question for which I had no answer. I don’t like rugs, I replied.

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T 6374

And then the road hugged the ocean and I said, This is like a commercial, but she was still crying and I remembered we didn’t watch much tv.

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T 6373

She’s looking at herself in the mirror, and he knows this is bad news. I hate the parts you like about me, she says. Then he packs his bags.

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T 6372

She caught me staring at her chest and she slapped me and then I said, I wasn’t looking at them sexually, and she hasn’t talked to me since.

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T 6371

We went out for Chinese. She ate a chili and grabbed my beer, and sucked it back in one gulp. That was so hot, she said. And I had to agree.

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T 6370

The High Priest of the Stoics watches the glass of milk tip over. He’s surprised by the emotion he feels. What’s happening to me? he wonders.

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T 6369

We drifted toward each other, very slowly, like dumb continents, and when my friends would ask why, I’d say, She looks a lot like my mother.

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