Twisters

T 6388

By Arjun Basu | Published: April 13, 2013

I drank the wine. A lady told me, You’re suppose to spit it out, and she pointed to a bucket. That night I told my kid grown ups were stupid.

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T 6387

By Arjun Basu | Published: April 13, 2013

The deer crap all over the yard. He thinks of the dollars he’s already spent. And for what? For deer shit. Too bad I hate venison, he thinks.

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T 6386

By Arjun Basu | Published: April 13, 2013

The car swims through oncoming traffic, like salmon on the spawn. The driver sneezes, and cars explode, one by one, and he tastes his guilt.

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T 6385

By Arjun Basu | Published: April 13, 2013

I rang her doorbell and waited. I thought about all the things that had led me to this moment. By the time she opened the door I was crying.

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T 6384

By Arjun Basu | Published: April 13, 2013

The men on TV talk about food, using words nobody can admit to not understanding. I love these guys, coos my wife, while I attack the nachos.

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T 6383

By Arjun Basu | Published: April 13, 2013

He told his parents about his new love. She makes me bigger, he said. This made his mother happy. His father too. But for different reasons.

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T 6382

By Arjun Basu | Published: April 13, 2013

We had a lot to do and she told me to make a list so I mimed a sinking ship and she said, Oh you handsome sailor, and then I had to propose.

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T 6381

By Arjun Basu | Published: April 13, 2013

This guy told me he doesn’t drink coffee in front of women because he has a weak bladder. I thought that’s so sexist but then he peed on me.

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T 6380

By Arjun Basu | Published: April 13, 2013

We boarded the plane and I sat next to a heavy woman with bad breath. Her clothes didn’t work. She was grumpy. I’m no catch either, I sighed.

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T 6379

By Arjun Basu | Published: April 13, 2013

And then came the clowns and fat men bearing lewd whirligigs and naked trapeze artists and she turned to me and said, Are we this desperate?

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