Twisters

It was last call. He was stuck in the bathroom without toilet paper. His cell phone’s battery was empty. So he started thinking up his will.

She reads the buff dude’s t-shirt with bemusement. “I don’t really get irony” it says. She calls her mom and says, I want to be a kid again.

You must be a plus size model, he says. He means it in the best way. But later that evening he sees there may never be a good way to say it.