Twisters

T 4074

He yells at the kids. For no reason other than he feels like yelling. Much later that night he tells his wife: Now the kids will remember me.

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T 4073

The dolphins leaping joyfully. He gets his “Nerds Love Sex Too!” t-shirt wet. I’m going to eat canned tuna! he yells. He loves that t-shirt.

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T 4072

And then the relationship came to an end. Because she said so. You always think you’re so right, he said. And that really did confirm things.

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T 4071

She made him insecure. So one day he asked, Do I bring anything substantial to our relationship? She nodded. You bring me cookies, she said.

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T 4070

The surf pounds the white sand beach. Let’s grope, he says. She rolls her eyes, ready to act passive aggressively once again. Fine, she says.

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T 4069

The children are relentless, as children often are. She dreams of tequila and burritos and turns to her husband and says, Let them eat cake.

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T 4068

The allergies kick in and now he can display an appropriate level of misery. Your mother was a good woman, someone tells him. And he sneezes.

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T 4067

He says, My lips are on fire, and she kisses him, and then she realizes that he has just eaten some chilis and now her lips are on fire too.

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T 4066

She kisses his chest and he says, I shoot pheasants. Are they cute? she asks. Not after I shoot them, he replies. And then she gets to work.

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T 4065

The humidity descends upon them. He sweats profusely. You make me hot, he says. She’s heard this before. It doesn’t make him any less gross.

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