T 6432

By Arjun Basu | Published: April 13, 2013

My dog’s a babe magnet and it’s working right now except the thing’s sniffing a turd and I’m like: Don’t eat that shit! and then he eats it.

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T 6431

By Arjun Basu | Published: April 13, 2013

We went to the store. I was worried about getting lost. Or worse, of achieving greatness. I just want a hot dog, I wailed. Lost in plumbing.

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T 6430

By Arjun Basu | Published: April 13, 2013

He sighs loudly and complains about his mother’s lasagne and his wife realizes something profound about him and says, You’re mom’s a goomba.

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T 6429

By Arjun Basu | Published: April 13, 2013

I take all my kid’s toys. I fill the trunk of my car and drive to the lake. And I go fishing. I’m trying not to hurt people. I’m a nice guy.

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T 6428

By Arjun Basu | Published: April 13, 2013

She’d already made the accusation; there was no hiding from it. Still, she bought me a drink. I’m not old enough to be your father, I sighed.

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T 6427

By Arjun Basu | Published: April 13, 2013

Dessert arrived and I put a piece in her mouth and she moaned. Then she said, This is what love tastes like. And I took that as a compliment.

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T 6426

By Arjun Basu | Published: April 13, 2013

Then the smarmy sommelier brought us the wine. Just holding the bottle made me nervous. Can’t we just look at it? I asked. My date hated me.

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T 6425

By Arjun Basu | Published: April 13, 2013

His hands are tied when he slides off the chair. He struggles to stand but the effort defeats him; he’s too greasy. She can’t stop laughing.

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T 6424

By Arjun Basu | Published: April 13, 2013

The chair was comfortable. Don’t get too comfortable, she said as she made her way to the bedroom. I thought sexy thoughts. And fell asleep.

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T 6423

By Arjun Basu | Published: April 13, 2013

I have a big mouth, I warn her. But she doesn’t care. Not now. And we kiss. It’s not so big, she says. And that is the worst backlash of all.

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