The date was going so well. I’m enjoying myself, she said. What fools we be, he replied pretentiously. And then she punched him in the nuts.

The club is crowded with sweat and wanting. She reaches out to him. You dance funny, she says. I’m wearing my sister’s underwear, he replies.

The jeans made me look old and I complained about it and the clerk said, Not old but maybe middle aged, so I left and bought bourbon instead.