The hipsters set up a turntable in the park but they played music no one could dance to. The cops came and arrested them. Everybody cheered.

She saddles up to him and says, My husband’s out of town. And he says, My wife’s right next to me. And she is. And she’s only mildly amused.

The road came to a dead end and his confused look told her all she needed to know about him. He backed the car into a wet ditch. She laughed

He was a romantic. He told her he fell in love with her when she walked by and he smelled the air. But I’m not in love with you now, he said

They sat under a tree and counted leaves and fell in love. A bird nesting in the tree pooped on her head. And now I’m in lust, too, he said.