There had been a transgression. So he purchased an expensive imported vehicle for her. She called it the Guiltmobile. And she drove it away.

She sat talking to him, twirling her hair He took it as a sign of interest. But she was thinking of how long it had been since she’d washed

He walked like some heavy stripper named Hilda. In college, he had played some football. Then he became a lawyer. And then the urges began.

She wanted to fall in love with him but he moved too much while he slept and she found herself always tired. But you can tie me up, he said.

During the eulogies, Jones wants to jump up out of his seat and decry the lies of the mourners but he doesn’t. Because that just isn’t done.

She never returned his calls. Later, he committed suicide. She didn’t know, because she never read the paper. It was a trait he had admired.

The stars lit up the sky like fibre optic cables. Or LED diodes. Or something. He was too busy having a nerdgasm to describe it all properly

He says, I can’t shop for you. She sighs. He says, It’s too hard. You should know my bra size, she says. And he realizes she doesn’t get men