She sang and danced and said, I want to shout it from the rooftops! and though he should have felt triumphant he knew sarcasm when he saw it

He says, I don’t see it. And then a minute later, he says it again. And then he says, No really. And that’s when she decides to divorce him.

She comes from a family of big chested blondes adept at making terrible choices. Which is why she’s never single. But almost always unhappy.

She says, I’m not fat just experienced. He says, Your body isn’t young enough for me. She laments the impossible divide. He blames the media

They survived most mundane activities. Except when shopping for underwear at the mall, where all her inappropriate comments were said loudly