Al drinks his beer and stumbles out and pisses on the shoes of a bemused cop. I’m going to have some fun, the cop says. I just did, Al says.

He had a new catchphrase. With his first chance came to use it he said, So what? And his wife stormed out. He was unsure of what to do next.

He sat at the bar and said, You can’t. He reached into his pocket and took out some lipstick. He smeared it on his face. I’m a pig, he said.