Twister 1894

He’s at that age where he’s not picking his nose but plucking nose hairs. I’m going to die alone, he say, eating cold Chinese for breakfast.

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Twister 1893

He brought up “It’s a Wonderful Life” and she said, Immigrants don’t have small town experiences here, and the evening was deemed a failure.

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Twister 1892

He dreamed up the opera in the shower and ran to the studio covered in soap and wrote it all down. It sucked. The shower flooded the house.

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Twister 1891

The truck hit the tree. That much was obvious. The rest involved booze, a hitchhiker and twenty dollars. He didn’t tell the cops about that.

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Twister 1890

The idiot son-in-law starts talking about art and at that moment I let rip a fart that shut him up but good and I got an extra piece of pie.

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Twister 1889

I sat in the corner next to the fireplace hoping to avoid every one. And then the Endless Talker sat next to me. And I jumped into the fire.

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Twister 1888

They stumbled around the darkness without the stars to guide them. They came upon a rise and someone said “poop.” And no one found it funny.

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Twister 1887

They get to that point in the flirtation where they let their lives in and he says, I’m in advertising, and she finds a knife and stabs him.

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Twister 1886

He’s an insurance adjuster with anger management issues and a chainsaw and when his burger comes without pickles the result is pretty tragic

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Twister 1885

The dog was coming at them but Jim merely walked quicker. What’s wrong with you? she yelled. Whenever I run fast I poop my pants, he replied

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