He blindfolds her and 12 hours later, she’s in Shanghai. That’s so sweet, she says. But I hate surprises. He hates girls who don’t get irony

It was a low point in his life. So when he got in the cab, he just said, Drive me places. A year later, he and the cabbie had a sitcom deal.

They have nothing to talk about. The date’s awkward, dull. Finally, he complains about his pants and she looks at them and says, No kidding.

The couple argue and argue and Joe plugs his ears and starts singing The Sound of Music and cops show up and Sheila punches Joe in the nuts.

So that’s it is it? All I did was crap on the kitchen floor. Was that so bad? It was? Oh. Um, I had a lousy childhood. I can explain. Really