The room overlooks the ocean. The gentle sound of waves laps over them as they fall into bed. She kisses him. I really have to pee, he says.

The car pulls up. The man inside is dressed as if he’s from 50 years ago. The car’s a time machine, he says. So I bought the vacuum cleaner.

Toward the end of the date, I said, You’re like decaffeinated coffee, and then she started talking about her mother, and then I fell asleep.

He sets the cutlery. Everything’s perfect. The doorbell rings. They sit to eat. He compliments her hair. And then she stabs him with a fork.