T 5325

He turns off the TV and reaches for his beer. The phone rings. It’s his girlfriend. Wanna come over? she asks. Stop crowding me, he replies.

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T 5324

They meet in the parking lot of the toy store. I’m married, he says. Me too, she says. And things progress illicitly. Until she sees his car.

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T 5323

She brought a bag of warm donuts to work. The cop was unmoved by her plight. I was mauled, she said. But the donuts were warm, the cop said.

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T 5322

They had spent a lovely weekend together. It’s too bad we live so far apart, she said, cuddled in his arms. We don’t think alike, he replied.

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T 5321

Your hot dog is wretched, he tells the waiter and the waiter says, Stop your fancy talk, and he says, OK your weiner. The waiter is shocked.

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T 5320

He’s lied to her in the past. Many times. I can feel my heart flutter, he says to her gently. Then he grabs his chest. As she rolls her eyes.

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T 5318

He approached her on the dance floor. He tried that move he always did and she tried to stifle her laughter. He moped to the bar. And moped.

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T 5317

He woke and heard her futzing about the kitchen. She served him coffee and yogurt and kissed his forehead. I thought you said epic, he said.

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T 5316

Last call. I’m the inventor of loneliness, he says. The lone woman in the bar touches her hair. That’s tragic, she says. And then she leaves.

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T 5315

She hasn’t smiled since the day he told her her smile was beautiful. I’m leaving, he tells her. Then he doesn’t. And now we’re even, he says.

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