She called him and said, You left your underwear here, and he flashed back to something sexy and then she said, Now I can’t see you anymore.

He ran into the bedroom, blood oozing from his chest. You’ve been using my razor, he yelled at her accusingly. Vanity’s a bitch, she replied.

He walks downstairs and the teenagers scatter like bugs under a rock. Love is love, he says. And then he embarrasses himself most profoundly.

He dove into the icy water and saved her kid. She gave him a hug and bit her lip and he eyed her. Heroes make me feel so insecure, she said.