He takes a pencil and jams it into his hand and he calls HR and says he’s been stabbed. But not in the back, he says, because I can’t reach.
Tagged: Work (581)
Twister 1283
The butcher wears an ascot. During the novocaine of winter, he is tasked with making dead things delicious. “Funkytown” plays on the stereo.
Twister 1454
She walks into the office and smells that thing again. She bumps into her boss and he smiles and says I smell it too. It’s the smell of fear
Twister 1557
Jim’s tie is askance. His pants are around his ankles. And his colleague’s eyebrows are raised. Don’t come in, Jim says. I ate a bad burrito
Twister 1703
In the shower that morning, he poked himself in the eye while shampooing. Instead of getting back in bed, he went to work. And fired people.
Twister 1840
The guy with the expensive suit says, I fire all these people and don’t go to jail. The guy with the less expensive suit says, We have guns.
Twister 2013
It was during the walk in the forest that she realized the philosopher’s words had no deeper meaning and that he was, in fact, full of shit.
Twister 2193
He had his assistant buy the lottery ticket. If I win you get a raise, he told her. If you win I’m going to kill you, the assistant thought.
Twister 2373
Jones walks into the office sadly and throws himself down on the chair and says, You win. And his boss puts down the phone and says, No shit
Twister 2563
There had been an office party, a lunch at a local seafood place. Jones ate the salmon. Later, he drafted notes for a pitch from the toilet.
