He trudges the family to the photo studio at the department store. The photographer asks them everyone to smile. But that isn’t their style.
Tagged: Home (473)
Twisters 3703
He calls her therapist The Laxative because he feels shat on every time she goes. She says, Ew. He thinks she needs more work on her issues.
Twister 508
The bucolic lawn. Gin tonics on the patio. A koi pond. Ethnic bbq. Polo shirts and floral print dresses. The men dreaming of wife swapping.
Twister 674
The children ran underfoot, hither and yon. There were six of them and they were all his. He went to his wife finally and said, I hate kids.
Twister 860
The thieves only took stuff worth more than $1,000. Except for his prized collection of fossilized mammoth penises. They didn’t touch those.
Twister 1168
He pulls the knife out of the meat. The sound coming from the den is killing him. He rushes over, knife in hand. And he stabs the television
Twister 1379
How many times had he said he would leave finally? How many days had he just had it? How many nights had he made love to his wife? Not many.
Twister 1499
She loved singing in the mornings but her singing sounded like the warbling of a lovestuck baboon. So the neighbors hired demolition experts
Twister 1709
The paint job was substandard and she refused to pay them. There was enormous shouting. And then she kind of roared a bit. And that was that
Twister 1918
In the evening they light the fireplace, put on some soft jazz and play board games. He rolls the die. When did we become like this? he asks
