Tagged: Guys (1,814)

I poured the lonely looking man a drink and he said, My needs exceed what’s possible to take, and he drank his drink and left without paying.

I poured her the whisky until it spilled out of the tumbler. Then I made eye contact with her and grinned. Are you 100 years old? she asked.

She offers me her drink and I take a sip and my chest simply implodes. You frighten me, I tell her. That’s just the drink talking, she says.

I’m out of underwear, I announce and she says, I’m still not waking up, and I imagine a more perfect world then. One with endless underwear.

Darkness gave way to dawn. I was tired, yet hopeful. I took her hand and I said, Let’s dance. And she made a face and said, You smell funny.

He sighed. She said, You’re like the world’s longest download. He could take it as a compliment but he knew what she meant. He sighed again.

He’d been sent to the pharmacy and he felt lost already. I need women’s things, he told the clerk. Dude, the clerk said. With understanding.