Tagged: Guys (1,814)

He downs a shot and says, Her hands were rough but that didn’t bug me. Then he hobbles off to the toilet. While his friends pee their pants.

He came home from the store and kissed his girlfriend. And she said, When’s the last time you took a shower? and he said, You don’t love me.

He was very good at witty rejoinders. But he was so extremely bad at first impressions that he never got around to the witty rejoinder part.

He sees a thin guy walking down the street, wearing a trucker cap and a pink tutu, whistling “Iron Man.” I just can’t ever keep up, he says.

The smoke cleared and the last of the men moved on. My geraniums were finished. You smell like chopped liver! I yelled. I cringed right away

His favorite word was “ancillary”. He got beat up by the boys and some of the girls and he didn’t play football. Even his teacher hated him.