Tagged: Guys (1,814)

He’s distressed to learn you can’t water plants with vodka. He doesn’t see the point in pets. He will die blaming his mother for everything.

He confuses perspiration and constipation to tragic effect and now gym isn’t fun anymore. When I’m an adult I’ll laugh about it, he thinks.

The argument got heated and personal and she said, Men see all of us as sex objects, and he looked her up and down and said, Not even close.

The future always disappoints, he says. I have no expectations; I’m happy, he says. I’m leaving you, she says. He expected that. Eventually.

The rain fell hard and cold. Everything it touched was rendered miserable. We have to talk, she begged him. And he put a finger to her lips.