Tagged: Guys (1,814)

He was a very good looking man. He knew it. But he had the personality of an old shoe. And he wasn’t aware of that. At least not outwardly.

There was some drinking involved but it wasn’t an inexcusable amount of drinking. But they were all married so there would be excuses later.

They made small talk while waiting for their dates to arrive. When the ladies got there, one of them said, Of course it would be small talk.

She is beyond the point of flirtation. Way past. But not him. I don’t love you, he says. But I’d love to love you. He smiles. She tries to.

She was shy for a stripper, or so he thought. You don’t know anything, she said, picking up her clothes. He knew that. He’d heard it before.

He’s distressed to learn you can’t water plants with vodka. He doesn’t see the point in pets. He will die blaming his mother for everything.