Tagged: Food (993)

He fluffs the blanket and sets out the grub. The sun shines down on the corndogs and Doritos and beer. This so isn’t going to work, she says

He is a dignified man except when he eats pasta. And lobster. When he eats a lobster it’s incredibly disgusting. So no one gets invited over

Once upon a time, an adult male poured ketchup all over his slice of pepperoni pizza and the Earth was swallowed up by a black hole, the end

When they discovered how serious he was, the women melted chocolate and poured it in his underwear drawer. And then he became vengeful, too.

When the marinara sauce falls on his white shirt he just gives up. I’m not Martha enough, he thinks. And then he starts looking for his gun.