Tagged: Family (813)

Twister 78

The mother says, that’s a persimmon, dear. She says, I’M not the one spoiling you. She says, point that thing away from me! She says, oh my.

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Twister 448

He left work and discovered he’d left the keys in the minivan. He struck up a conversation with a young cop. It ended in shame on both sides

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Twister 255

He wonders what would happen to a bird suffering from vertigo. They’re called penguins, his father says. I feel like a penguin then, he says

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Twister 342

The house burned quickly. The family was fine. A fireman came out holding a charred fondue stick. It wasn’t even very good, she said, crying

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Twister 176

You park fast, Lou tells me. It’s a talent of yours that I admire, he says. So what if you hate oranges? At least you can blame that on mom.

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Twister 510

He dreamt in French and realized it was only a ham and cheese sandwich. His Japanese car was assembled in Alabama. He always says Van Damme!

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Twister 601

He is tragically untalented. He blames everything on his mother’s overbearing nature. My penis is small because of my skinny jeans, he says.

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Twister 662

Failing’s not so bad, he says. Don’t listen to him, she says. It builds character, he says. Tell your father he’s not getting any, she says.

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Twister 739

The carnage of the breakfast table is belied by the silence of a sated couple who have locked their kids in the basement a few hours longer.

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Twister 809

Hal lived a full but ultimately unsatisfying, dreary life. And on his deathbed, he remembered his father’s last words to him: You can’t win.

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