I thought I loved her. But you should see how she dresses the baby. I mean, my kid looks like a douchebag. So, like, going the condom route.
Tagged: Family (813)
T 3725
They watched the kids eating. The mess they made. Remember when we didn’t have kids? he said. No, she said. He didn’t sleep well that night.
Twister 3712
The wind came up. She held on to her skirt. He said, Hold my hand. She said, Very funny. He patted her ass. And their kids were grossed out.
Twister 3710
And then they sat to watch television except no one really watched. This is like sitting around a fireplace, the kid said. And he was right.
Twisters 3707
He trudges the family to the photo studio at the department store. The photographer asks them everyone to smile. But that isn’t their style.
Twisters 3703
He calls her therapist The Laxative because he feels shat on every time she goes. She says, Ew. He thinks she needs more work on her issues.
Twister 4
It’s the kid’s fault, he says. He says this with a conviction that surprises him. I know it is, she says. But you can’t do anything about it
Twister 68
This happened in the backyard on a Sunday afternoon. Too many pina coladas. The shrinkage was an embarrassment. But not out of the ordinary.
Twister 171
He wants to hold the newborn but he’s nervous. My hands are too big, he says. If I hadn’t just given birth I’d find that sexy, the mom says.
Twister 244
The sun set faster than usual. He checked his watch. I’m having a vicious mood swing, he told his invalid father. And it doesn’t taste good.
