Twisters

T 3964

The wedding was a grand thing. Hundreds of guests spending thousands of dollars of someone else’s cash. All because the groom was a bad liar.

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T 3962

He sits immobile, shrouded by memories, by a life once lived and no longer livable. But she knew he’d have a tough time becoming vegetarian.

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T 3961

She called her mom, trembling with excitement. This time it’s love, she said. Her mother wanted her to be sure. Because last time it was gas.

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T 3960

She watches him sleep and falls deeper in love with him. Even when he farts. Except he’s not sleeping. And that was no fart. Now he’s stuck.

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T 3959

One boy says, You are a fat pig that will eat your mother’s bacon! And another boy says, Here comes Mr. Knuckles! And the girls laugh a lot.

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T 3958

They meet outside the library. He says, I shall not yield to temptation. And she takes this one way. But he’s talking about online shopping.

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T 3957

She finds him sitting alone at the bar and he says, What happened to your nose? and she walks out. Because nothing had happened to her nose.

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T 3956

Then the barbecue came out and the men started grunting and the women swooned, and then he woke up and his dog licked his toes and he cried.

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T 3955

A bomb exploded and and he ran outside and studied the crater in a state of complete bewilderment. I won’t have to mow the lawn, he thought.

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T 3954

That’s the boardwalk of bad dreams, he tells her. That’s the park of wishful thinking. And over there is the dumpling cart of burning loins.

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