He shows them the new phone. Everyone feels the room grow noticeably warm. This one makes you smarter, he announces. A woman’s water breaks.
Twisters
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We watched the women walk outside and I said, They do everything together, and we had a debate about stereotypes and I quickly lost my buzz.
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There she is. The one. I have dreamt her and now she is before me. I’ve been staring at you, she says. But I had been staring into my phone.
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She starts to clear the table, and she looks at me and says, It’s sexy time, and the kids panic and leave, meaning we get control of the tv.
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The phone rings and she says, I’m still sore, and unfortunately my speakerphone is on and I get lots of looks but she started yoga yesterday.
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I grew fat. Or more fat. One day my wife looked at me as if for the first time. When did this happen? she said, as she served up more pasta.
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I can’t watch my kid’s performance. The man in front of me is using his iPad like a camera. I do what must be done. I kill him. To applause.
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My boss walked to my cubicle and said, I wanted to fire you but I was overruled. Then he waited for a response. And waited. Eat shit, I said.
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He learned about the death of his father while drunk on cheap tequila. No one ever dies at a convenient time, the bartender told him. Maybe.
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These were the children, carefree, caught up in play, bundles of ecstasy. Ecstatic. Just look at them, I sigh, aloud, to no one, to my soul.
